Good morning and good Wednesday. Kinda crazy to wake up to yet another cold rainy morning. This cold snap caught us off guard, we didn’t have any warm clothes! Since back from Maui in April, it has been warm and we of course didn’t have any coats, jackets or sweaters in Maui, they just weren’t needed. I ran up to TJ Max and grabbed a few things to stay warm. Welcome back to the regular world huh? As we were bundling up for bed last night I told Margie, you know in Maui people are laying on the beach right now…ha!
Well, let’s jump right into God’s Word. This morning we’re in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 which deals with marriage. You know, God’s Word has a natural way of polarizing those who read it. If you truly understand and believe that man is born with a sin nature, and is in constant rebellion towards God, then this of course will not surprise you. But for those that are not willing to accept this or even those that do not call Christ Lord, God’s Word is a divining rod. The world has a natural aversion to the truth of God’s Word and it is more apparent in the topic of marriage than just about any other topic. What God has to say about marriage is not going to win any popularity contests, that’s for sure.
Paul dedicates the longest chapter in 1 Corinthians to marriage, he has a lot to say about marriage to the church at Corinth and to us. In fact, the church had written Paul a letter asking him questions about marriage and he starts out the chapter addressing them. “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote.” 1 Cor. 1:1.
There’s a couple of important things we should note about Paul’s comments on marriage here. The first is context. This letter was written to the church at Corinth around 54AD and it was quite the debaucherous city. The temple of Aphrodite in Corinth was home to 1000 ‘vestal virgins’ and sex was the main part of their ‘religion’. The Corinthian society had made such a debacle of sex and relationships that I imagine they were floored by what God defined as marriage.
Also it’s important to note that in this culture it was common for a man to have several wives due to the necessity of the workload around the home. One wife ran the kitchen, another the living area, another the clothes, etc. Sex was secondary in the marriage because the men went to the temple to where the young attractive girls were in constant supply. You notice that in dealing with this specific cultural problem, the first thing Paul mentions in the chapter is that a man should have only one wife and a wife only one husband. (1 Cor. 7:2) Paul starts with marriage 101 here, the basics.
So let’s remember the context of who Paul was writing to. Our society is much different in some ways but still similar in some regards. Also, I want us to clearly see that throughout this entire chapter Paul’s message is crystal clear, God should always be the center of your life regardless of whether you are married or single. God is to be the center of your life and your marriage, that’s the only way it will work.
When Margie and I were getting ready to be married at Mimosa Lane Baptist Church in Mesquite, Texas we counseled with Pastor Gilbert and those sessions have had an ongoing impact in our marriage. One of the images he taught us has always stuck with us and we have shared it with countless other couples over our 23 year of marriage.
Think of the marriage relationship as a pyramid. The husband is at the bottom left and the wife is at the bottom right. At the top of the pyramid is God. The wife and husband can come together and become closer on the bottom plane of the pyramid if they choose. Its possible. But in doing so they come closer to only each other, not God. If the husband and wife move upwards in the pyramid, they will also become closer to each other. The big difference? As they become closer on this plane, they are also becoming closer to God. You see the marriage relationship is built, ordained and created by God. Being built by God, He must continually be the center of it. Paul never strays from this, God is to be the center of our lives, even in marriage to another.
It’s also important to note how many different marriage configurations Paul notes. (think beliver with non-believer, etc) As far as the current definition of marriage, its also important to note 1 Cor. 7:2, “but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband.” God’s Word is crystal clear here, marriage is one man and one woman. Don’t kill the messenger, but this is God’s Word and you can reject it if you choose, that’s your choice. Just bear in mind that if you reject some of God’s Word you reject it all. You don’t get to pick and choose topics you agree with God on. God's Word is not a buffet.
Let’s look at what Paul says about the marriage participants which results in different arrangements and special challenges.
1) 2 believers get married. Both people have called upon Jesus as their savior. Some would say this arrangement is going to be perfect, blessed by God and there will never ever be any problems. Not even close. In fact Paul goes on to say in this chapter, “yet those who marry will have worldly troubles.” 1 Cor. 7:28b. There will be troubles in any marriage but with God as your main focus, He will guide you through and grow you in the process.
2) 2 unbelievers get married. Neither the man nor the woman has accepted Jesus as their Savior. There will be happiness and there will be problems here as with any other marriage. But without God as the focus and without each life centered on Jesus, these can fail at a greater rate than 2 believers. There’s always anomalies but look at this study:
“Couples who regularly practice any combination of serious religious behaviors and attitudes – attend church nearly every week, read their Bibles and spiritual materials regularly; pray privately and together; generally take their faith seriously, living not as perfect disciples, but serious disciples – enjoy significantly lower divorce rates than mere church members, the general public and unbelievers.
Professor Bradley Wright, a sociologist at the University of Connecticut, explains from his analysis of people who identify as Christians but rarely attend church, that 60 percent of these have been divorced. Of those who attend church regularly, 38 percent have been divorced.”
3) 1 believer and 1 unbeliever get married. This is the ‘unequally yoked’ example we see Paul present in 2 Cor. 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” God’s Word tells us this arrangement will suffer greatly as the focus cannot be truly on God, if God is only known by one partner. This particular arrangement is addressed in over 15 different verses in God’s Word. The consensus? Don’t do it, it won’t work.
4) 2 Unbelievers get married and then one accepts Jesus as their savior but not the other. This sounds similar to #2 but it’s different. In this case it was not unequally yoked at the time of marriage but has now become that way. Paul specifically addresses this here in chapter 7. You see, with the revival in Corinth, this was happening a lot and Paul sees a need to address it. Listen to what Peter says about this arrangement, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” 1 Peter 3:1. In this arrangement the believer is called to a higher place, to behave as a servant of the Lord and through this witness, the unbeliever can be ‘won over’. It’s important to note here that it’s the power of God doing this not a person. Note also that this is not a wife marrying an unbeliever and then trying to 'save' him. Also note that it specifically says ‘without words’. If the wife knit-picks the guy into submission and yells at him for not going to church every Sunday or reading his bible this won’t work. This of course goes both ways…it's for ladies and gentlemen both…”without words”...let your actions speak for you. A perfect and beautiful example of this is the movie ‘War Room.’ If you haven’t seen it please do. It’s the wonderful potrayal of this verse. Of course there is no guarantee here, we're dealing with people and all people have a choice. I served with a 75 year old Christian woman that had been walking this walk with her un-believing husband for 50 years. His heart was very hard. I still pray for his heart.
Well, we’ve touched on a lot about marriage today just as Paul touched on it a lot in his many letters
. (almost every one!) God realizes the importance of marriage in our society and he also realizes the struggles that it can present. I’m so thankful for what God teaches on marriage so that I can reference it and apply it to my own marriage. Praise God for His Word!
Have a blessed day and may your personal time in God’s Word today allow you to meditate on it day and night.
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