There is quite the tricky double sided coin in this life. On one side lies the delicate act of apology. Saying “I’m sorry” and truly expressing regret for your actions. On the other side of that coin lies the art of forgiveness. The act of releasing resentment towards others. The two go hand in hand, like peas and carrots, one needs the other. Yet ironically, they are polar opposites and many times stand alone. To complete a full cycle, you need both but yet many times both are not deployed. For instance, a heartfelt apology can be given by one party, but forgiveness is not granted by the other. Or in the opposite, you can have someone very ready to offer their forgiveness, but the offending party will not offer the apology. Without the two meeting, resolution cannot be found.
I have seen countless lives (including mine) fall prey to this often times evil, unbalanced equation. I have seen relationships splintered for years and even lifetimes due to one person unwilling to offer up a sincere apology for their actions. I have also seen people wronged but unwilling to accept a genuine apology, unwilling to forgive those that trespassed against them. The result of either scenario does as much damage as a dropped bomb. Not only does it destroy the immediate lives involved but it usually claims collateral lives as well with family and friends being drawn into the fray. But, you know, there is an art to these. An art that you can learn. There's an art to being able to admit when you’re wrong and promptly admit those wrongs to those that you have hurt. And to also be able to truly forgive those that have dealt you harm. And in my own life God has revealed the truth that in dealing with both, the benefit lies not in what you receive but in what you give.
In the last few chapters of 2 Samuel, we have seen David reeling from his sinful actions. His lust driven actions with Bathsheba are paying him back fourfold. The wages of sin are indeed high. But even in great sin, David still holds the same heart within his chest. A heart that is one after God's. And a heart that is after God’s is a heart that yearns for God. It is a heart that strives to always be moving closer to God. A heart that beats after God’s will never be perfect but will always be moving in His direction. And so is the heart of David.
After David is confronted in his sin by God using the prophet Nathan, we see him utilizing the art of saying I’m sorry. David is not merely throwing out a hollow empty apology (like I would toss to my brothers growing up) he is truly ashamed and reviled at the actions of his hands. Folks, the art of saying I’m sorry starts as all else does…in the heart. A heart that is truly sorry and repentant will show it in more ways that just words. And it is in this moment that David goes to parchment and pens the 51st Psalm. In it David leaves us a photographic image of words. A picture of what it means to apologize, ask forgiveness and repent. To approach our Almighty God and creator that we have offended. Let’s take a look at this powerful example:
Psalm 51 - To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone into Bathsheba.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
A heart such as this that pours out pure repentance and apology is in true deservance of forgiveness. And folks, it is here that we need the true and absolute guidance of God. If there is anything that the human heart will always struggle with, it is forgiveness. As part of our sin nature we desire justice. And in the pursuit of our justice we seek punishment for those that wrong us. And the lengths we will go to to see that justice served is paramount.
The human heart is hard, arrogant, and stubborn when it comes to forgiving others. The human heart will steal away to its own devices and nary offer forgiveness to those that truly deserve it. I’ve heard it said that withholding forgiveness is like you drinking some poison and expecting the other person to die. A heart that cannot forgive is a life that will forever toil in anguish. You see, when we truly forgive someone it is a gift. The fallacy is that we think we are giving the gift to the other person. But what I’ve learned is that when you truly forgive someone that has hurt you, the gift really rests within your own heart. A heart that has been freed from the bondage and burden of hate, anger, malice, and inability to let go of what you perceive as injustice. Do yourself a favor today and forgive all those that you can. At the end of the day you will find yourself walking taller, now void of the weight of unforgiveness.
As far as finding our example and model of forgiveness, you don’t have to go far to find the most absolute, the most perfect example that has ever been displayed.
The life of Jesus Christ.
We are guilty. We are born sinners and by the time we are only a few years old we are already guilty of sinning against a holy and righteous God. The wages of our sin is death, resulting in the fact that our sin cannot be allowed in the presence of God in Heaven. But in the penultimate act of forgiveness, God sent His only Son to this planet. A man, to live, walk, and breath here among us. And Jesus would not only come here to live…but to die. You see the price of our sin is incredibly high. It demands a sacrifice; it demands innocent blood be shed to pay that high price. As Jesus Christ hung on that Cross for you and me, in some of His last precious breath, He uttered these words:
“And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34
Jesus forgave. Fully. Because of Jesus Christ you can be forgiven today. All you have to do is complete the other side of the coin. Admit that you have sinned against God and from the depths of your heart, tell Him you’re sorry. Ask for His forgiveness to fall upon your heart and ask Him to be the Lord of your life. And folks, when your admission and apology meets the forgiveness God, you will experience the miracle moment. A life of sin, guilt, shame, and pride will find the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. Perfect forgiveness answers a desperate plea. The coin is complete.
Folks, just as Jesus forgave us for all of our trespasses, we are called to forgive all those that trespass against us. The path is clear to walk, but the steps are difficult to take. Say you're sorry to those that you have hurt and forgive those that have in turn hurt you. Within this simple equation lies the peace your heart desires.
God bless you.
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