How do you know where you’re heading today is in the right direction? Sometimes in life we get so caught up in the business of the journey, we fail to look up from time to time and survey our surroundings. It’s equivalent to paying so much attention to the road you're on, that for days on end you fail to check your map. It reminds me of a hilarious scene in the movie Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey decides to surprise his friend and drive all night to speed up their arrival in Vail, Colorado. The only problem? He took a wrong turn and was heading north to Lincoln, Nebraska. He’s whistling and so happy to be making great progress, all the while he’s heading in the absolute wrong direction. We can be the same way at times in our life. Immensely enjoying our journey as we are heading in the wrong direction.
I received some wise (but hard) advice in my first management position. The owner of the business served as owner/operator and I was his assistant manager. I was taking full time college courses, working for him full time, and being only 20 years old, I still found plenty of time for fun and sun. I remember showing up for work distracted, exhausted, and well, pretty unfit for work more times than I care to admit. Several times he pulled me into his office for a talk. You could call these talks many things. A wake-up call, a rebuke, a correction, a reprimand, a reproof. But what it was to me was an adjustment. At times, my young mind and emotions could be heading in the wrong direction even though I felt as though I were right on track. Because he was more than just a manager to me, he cared enough to notice my swerve in direction and offer to help me correct the course. Even though those talks stung, I managed to say thank you after they had occurred. And I’ll always remember his response to me. “Dan, everybody needs an attitude adjustment every once in a while.”
Possibly the last person you would ever think that would need an attitude adjustment would be King David. But that is exactly what we see in the first 8 verses of 2 Samuel 19. Absalom has been killed in the civil war, also killing the bloody civil revolt that was set to linger on indefinitely. As the news of his son’s death reaches David, he is beyond grief-stricken. He moves into a world of gloom, woe and despair and he takes his entire kingdom with it. What should have been a time of celebration as his forces rallied to defeat an enemy that wanted to slay him, is instead a time of mourning for the enemy. The people are confused and hurt by David’s reaction and as a result the kingdom stews in despondency. Something must be done to help David snap out of it, but who will be bold enough to speak to the king?
Joab, the general of David’s armies saddles up and takes on the task. And as he does, it brings us to the basis of our lesson. The attitude adjustments of life. How to receive them with grace, how to offer them with love, and how to ensure that the entire process honors God. For our example, let’s look at the conversation between Joab and David.
“Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.” So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told, “The king is sitting in the gateway,” they all came before him.” 2 Samuel 19:5-8
The Bible loves the word rebuke. It defines roughly as "disapproval of someone’s actions." In the over 100 verses that involve rebukes, we find that God agrees with the fact that everyone needs an attitude adjustment every once in a while. But within the world of rebukes we see that God uses different levels. Since I’m in Texas, in the world of Tex-Mex salsa, let’s just call them mild, medium, and hot rebukes. We see in the pastoral epistle of Titus, a “sharp rebuke.” (Titus 1:13) This would equivalate to ‘hot’ on our salsa scale. This type would be required to bring about a radical course correction in a life that is heading in the wrong direction. And it is what we see in our passage this morning. As we look closer at the exchange between Joab and David, there are two critical key elements that must exist for a Godly rebuke to take place.
1) A Godly heart must exist that is bold enough and loving enough to bring the rebuke. Folks, the easiest thing to do in life is nothing. If you see a friend floundering in life, it’s much easier to do nothing than it is to get involved. Offering a loving rebuke is hard and to be honest, very dangerous. You must have a love for the individual that flows directly from the love that God allows between fellow believers. You must see the needed correction not from your own eyes or your own intellect, but from the eyes of God. Which brings about the sole element of a Godly rebuke. What does it involve and why does it exist? A Godly rebuke will only exist to bring a believer back to a closer walk with God. You can’t offer a Godly rebuke to a non-believer, it won’t work. And if a Godly rebuke is offered to a brother or sister in Christ, it will more than likely deal with a sin or ungodly behavior. A sin that is inching them farther from God little by little.
Joab sees that David’s grief over his son is damaging his ability to lead the kingdom that Go has entrusted to him. I believe that David’s grief was greatly compounded by his regret over the father figure he was to Absalom. His example to his son Absalom was less than stellar. David showed him a life of concubines, polygamy, adultery, murder, and betrayal. As the old saying goes, like father like son. I think David also felt extreme guilt in the way that he welcomed Absalom back after his exile for murdering Amnon. David was harsh and refused to even speak to Absalom. I think it was in this heartless reception that Absalom found the murderous fuel to start the rebellion against his father. It was very different than the way the prodigal son’s father received him back. You have to wonder if David had placed a robe on Absalom, put a ring on his finger and killed a fatted calf, if the rebellion would have ever occurred.
Joab sensing these various factors, helps David to snap out of the funk. He uses the two key ingredients that all rebukes should contain…facts and forecast. He offers the simple facts of the situation and then extrapolates the forecast of where continuation of said behavior will take David. Basically, if you stay on this path, this is where it will take you. If David continues on this path of endless mourning and neglect of his people “not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.” Joab, in love, care and bravery, brings a course correction to King David. A much needed attitude adjustment that will move him back closer to a God that loves him dearly.
2) A Godly heart must exist that is wise enough to receive the rebuke. Folks, this one is huge. No one likes to be corrected. No one likes an attitude adjustment. No one likes to have their sin pointed out. It is here in this step that you will see the differentiation of lives that thrive for Christ and lives that wallow in mediocrity for Christ. We live in a world today of people, including Christians, that simply will not tolerate a rebuke, correction, or attitude adjustment. They refuse to hear, see, or deal with the truth. Folks, if you are heading in the wrong direction, you have to be wise enough to hear the sound of the alarm. If you are moving away from God, He will in His love, send you a wake up call. And more than likely He will send a brother or sister to carry the message. How will you receive that message?
The book of Proverbs is littered with examples of how to receive correction and counsel from others. God knows that it is hard for us to lovingly accept correction, therefore He encourages us highly.
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” Proverbs 12:15
“Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.” Proverbs 11:14
“Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.” Proverbs 19:20
David listened. Even though I’m sure Joab’s sharp rebuke cut him like a new knife, he listened. David got up, got himself ready and went to the gates of the city to welcome and greet the people that God had anointed him to lead. Life goes on and sometimes we need to be reminded. Sometimes we all need an attitude adjustment to correct our course and move us ever closer to the abundant life that God has for us.
May God bless you with ability to lovingly and caringly offer and receive Godly correction.
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