“So when the decree made by the king is proclaimed throughout all his kingdom, for it is vast, all women will give honor to their husbands, high and low alike.” Esther 1:20
I remember it like it was yesterday. One of my two older brothers would not succumb to my juvenile wishes so I would cry out to mom, “mom, make them do what I said!” The 7-year-old idea lodged in my psyche was that one person could make another person do the third person’s will…and like it. Yeah, not so much. You would think that as adults we would have learned that this method is ill-effective, yet it’s still attempted daily all over this spinning rock. People use the leverage of another to attempt to get what they want from yet another. And don’t think that people are exempt from using God in their little triangular chess matches of leverage. In fact, in one of the most mis-used verses in God’s Word is where we will center our focus study in Esther chapter one. Wives submit to your husbands.
Esther is a fascinating book for many reasons. It is one of only two books in the Bible named for women. (Ruth being the other) There is no mention of God anywhere in the book of Esther. And since there is no mention of God, there is no mention of prayer. And it is not quoted anywhere in the New Testament. Yet, considering all of these unusual facts, God’s providence easily shines through. We see God’s mighty hand guide the sinful, chaotic human events into a culmination that is harmonious and God-honoring. A theme for Esther could be, “God is always at work whether you can see it or not.” The book opens with a show-stopping royal feast and as the king gets drunk, he decides to parade his wife in front of his drunk buddies to show off her figure. The queen refuses to come. The king is insulted. As a result, the drunk men get together and decide to create a royal decree across the land that demands that all women should submit to and honor their husbands. Yeah guys, it doesn’t quite work that way.
Paul’s famous line in Ephesians 5:33 is often merely turned into a 7-year-old plea for God to make wives submit to a husband. But folks, God is not some cosmic judge that will make people bend to your will. The marriage relationship is ultimately one of giving. The husband is called to give his unconditional love to his wife, even to the point of dying for her as Christ died for the church. (Eph. 5:25) As a result of this love, in a reciprocal act, the wife will naturally respond to the husband’s love with her own love. A love that is freely offered and openly given. Not a heartless submission, but a reciprocal giving. The marriage relationship follows a cyclical pattern, almost like a dog chasing his tail. The love of the husband fuels the love of the wife and then the love of the wife fuels even more love from the husband. A beautiful pattern that can spin into infinity as the husband and wife love the other in a God-inspired love.
The book of Esther starts with a valuable lesson in order. The love, respect, and honor of others is not something that can be demanded through edict, force, law, or coercion, but must be earned through first giving them to another in purity of heart. Today if you want love, love another first. If you want respect, respect another first. If you want honor, honor another first. Only in this order will you see the pattern of God’s salvation expounded. For He sent His Son first, even while we were yet sinners, so that we will not die in our sin, but live forever through the precious blood of Jesus Christ. And in response to His great love, we love Him…because He first loved us.
“We love, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
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