You ever been in an argument? A disagreement? If the answer is no, you’re either 3 months old or not being truthful. Disagreements are a way of life, something you just have to get used to. But how you handle those disagreements are critical. You can process interpersonal tension effectively and move beyond it quickly and efficiently or, well, you can make a mountain out of a mole hill. It’s safe to say that you and I both know more people that are in the latter group. People that let an often times simple disagreement mushroom into a vicious, damaging, verbal assault that severs friendships, breaks relationships, ends marriages and even spurs lifetime separations. So, what’s the key to effective conflict management?
My company teaches 9 leadership learning elements and one of them is Managing Conflict. Most people think that we’re all just simply gifted in this arena but not so. Conflict resolution is something you must study, practice, re-learn and practice more. It takes time and it takes much, much patience. One of the single biggest problems I see in poor conflict resolution is to no surprise…the heart. If someone possesses a hard, bitter, angry, heart, it feeds off disagreement, conflict and tension like I feed off of tacos. It just seems to be the coal in their firebox. The steam that makes their engine move on down the tracks. The solution? Change the heart that’s in the fight and you’ll change the fight that’s in the heart.
This morning in Numbers 12 we see a disagreement. A family argument. Moses apparently has remarried after Zipporah the Midianite. Did she die? Where did she go? We’re not told, but we are told that he has now taken a Cushite (Ethiopian) wife, a gentile. And his brother Aaron and his sister Miriam don’t like it one bit and they’re not going to have any of it. With Miriam leading the charge the disagreement quickly escalates and ends with Miriam doing what we have all done, speaking too quickly in the moment. Speaking harsh words, you can’t take back. Did you know that the most dangerous thing you will ever wield in this lifetime is your words? You can do more damage with your words than you can with any gun, knife or bomb. (For a “side-lesson” read James 3:1-12)
Miriam’s disapproval moves from dislike to questioning Moses’ position as God’s prophet. Oops, now she went and got God involved. God strikes her with leprosy for 7 days, Aaron’s begs Moses to ask God for forgiveness in a quick change of heart and even Moses begs God to heal her. Wait, what? Moses quickly prays for his attacker to be forgiven and healed? Aren’t we supposed to be happy when our attackers get punished for disagreeing with us? That doesn’t sound like the hearts I see all around me today at all. In fact, that brings up our study verse and topic for the day. A closer look at the heart of Moses and how he was so effective at conflict resolution.
“Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth.” Num 12:3
Meek. That word. We see it all through God’s Word and it’s probably one of the more misunderstood words in the Bible. It’s most famous for its use by Jesus in the beatitudes in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5:5. If Jesus teaches it and Moses had more than any other person on the planet, then it must be good right? Then why do most think that meekness means weakness? The Greek root of the word meek is “praus” and it has a rich history that revolves around of all things, equine. If you better understand “praus” you’ll better understand meek. Allow me to illustrate.
The beast stood on the gentle green slopes, muscles glistening in the warm sun. His black coat gleamed as he stood at attention, ready and alert. His lustrous mane gently waved in the afternoon breeze. He claimed freedom as his own in this world. But his freedom was to be changed greatly in the coming days. His true freedom and purpose would be found in service to another.
In the years of 300-400 BC, wild stallions were brought down from the Greek mountains and trained for use. But before they could be put into service, they had to be evaluated. How could they be best used? Depending on their temperament, some were used for menial tasks like pulling carts, some to plow fields and others were used for racing. The finest stallions, however, the very few that held the perfect blend of power, speed, gentleness and bravery would be separated for a special purpose. These rare few would be trained for war.
Through careful, firm, persistent training these horses would retain their fierce spirit, courage, and power, but would be disciplined to respond to the slightest nudge or pressure of the rider’s leg. They could gallop into battle and come to a sliding stop at a mere word. They were not frightened by spears, torches or flaming arrows. Through this thorough training, the horse had now become more than a normal horse, he was a tool, a weapon in the hands his controller. This phenomenal thousand pound beast that can propel at speeds over 35 miles an hour, could now be brought under total control with just a touch or whisper. The wild horse had become a war horse.
The war horse now had ‘power under authority’ and ‘strength under control.’ You see, a war horse never ceased to be determined, strong and passionate, however, it learned to bring its strength under discipline. It gave up being wild, unruly, out of control and rebellious. It would now respond to the slightest touch of the rider, stand in the face of cannon fire, thunder into battle and stop at a whisper. The war horse was not weak, in fact it was just the opposite. It was stronger than ever due to its intense training and excellent leadership. It was now meek under it’s rider.
Folks, as God finds us, we are sinners. We are rebellious, strong spirits roaming the hills of this world. Serving ourselves, seeking our own fleshly desires and whims. We are wild beasts that have great strength, determination and zeal for life. But it is mis-directed. You see, we were not meant to serve ourselves but to serve God. As Jesus comes into our hearts, we become new creatures. New creatures that have new hearts, hearts like Jesus. But this new heart must be trained. Just like the war horse, we must be ‘brought under control’ to be able to live ‘under authority.’ The Holy Spirit must train us to use our strength, power, and will to serve the master and become ready for battle. We must not be weak, but meek.
Today, be in full submission to the Lord. He will lead you with a gentle pull of the reins. He will guide you with soft whispers and loving commands. He will nudge you on into a battle that He controls. He will comfort you as flaming arrows are coming from all around. He is in control. Today…be a powerful, fierce, courageous steed that is of great use to Lord Jesus.
Be meek.
God bless you.
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