On September 30, 1995, Margie and I stood in Mimosa Lane Baptist Church in Mesquite, Texas, looked into each other’s tear filled eyes and said I do. I can’t believe that it’s going to be 25 years in 2020. There’s just no way that I’m old enough to be married for 25 years. I mean that’s the whole silver thing, right? Don’t only old people celebrate that whole silver thing?
Over those 25 years we have seen those vows tested for strength countless times. It’s like building a wooden bench in the garage, until it’s tested, you don’t know if it will hold. But you see, I think many completely misunderstand the wedding vow. People stand on the stage of a church or scenic venue somewhere and speak heartfelt words to each other pledging their lifelong love, but you see, therein lies the problem. The wedding vow is not first between a man and a woman. It’s first between a man or a woman and God…then secondly between the bride and groom. If you get the order wrong, your marriage might just end up a statistic.
Vow is defined as “a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment.” But I have a question for you about pledging a vow to someone. How good is a vow? Wouldn’t it only be as good as the heart that offers it? Since we all have a sin nature and are greatly imperfect, how can we expect a wedding vow to hold any merit? All great questions, it seems you need to have a third aspect involved in two sinners making vows to honor and respect each other. Folks, that’s where God enters the equation. Only God can fulfill the marriage vow.
This morning in Numbers chapter 5 we see the fallout of two people taking a personal vow based on the strength of themselves. In the moment they are deeply in love, maybe even deeply in lust for each other and the marriage vows come easy and free in those moments. The words say, I’ll love you today with all of my heart, but will that vow be the same in 5, 12, 25 or 38 years? The bulk of our study chapter today is centered on reconciling adultery in the marriage. What to do when a spouse goes outside of the sanctity of God's marriage for sexual fulfillment. The death knoll for a marriage.
The current stats for divorce in the U.S. currently hovers around 45%. But I don’t want to focus on divorce, I want to focus on marriage failure. You see, divorce is merely the legal act of terminating a marriage, the failure of the marriage came much before. If we could accurately capture the number of marriages in the U.S. that are currently in failure, the rate would be astonishing. Why? Why are so many modern marriages failing?
God’s Word tells us it’s in the delivery of the vows. Who are you really saying those vows to on your wedding day? It’s safe to say that a large portion of people that get married are not genuine born-again evangelical Christians. This would more than likely include many of the over 300 weddings a day in Las Vegas alone. (it's also the divorce capital of the U.S.) As vows are mindless repeated and given out in the moment, the most important vow can be left out. The only one that matters, the vow to God.
You see, in the very beginning, marriage was made by God, to serve a purpose for God and fully centered on God. (Gen 2:18-25) So then, how can you have a marriage without God? How can you have a marriage built the way God intended if He’s not included or invited to be at the center? Sadly, when you get to divorce court, you see the ruins of a marriage that did not have God as it’s center, the damage ran its course and claimed the marriage.
If a woman was perceived to be guilty of adultery in Numbers 5, she had to undergo quite the rigorous, stressful test to determine the truth, all directly before God and the priest. If the woman was guilty, the pressure, shame and guilt of the process must have been unbearable. The pressure of guilt would only build if there was no confession of truth. The same is true in our personal lives as we let sin run rampant, unchecked and unconfessed before God. A message from God that honesty in the marriage is not just honesty with your spouse, but first honesty with God.
Where does God fit into your marriage today? Is He at the absolute center of it? Is He absent from the equation? Since God created marriage, He is the only one that knows how to perfect it. If your goal is to move your marriage closer to God’s ideal model for marriage, you must include Him. You see, even if you made those original vows years ago, you can still make new vows today. God will honor your request. Give your marriage to God. I personally pray every day that God would control, protect, honor and use our marriage for His purposes. Only in this way can I expect to see the glory of God’s perfect picture of marriage. He does it, not us.
Regardless of wherever your marriage is today, God can make it better. Don’t exclude Him. Renew your marriage vows to God. Ask Him to take over your marriage and allow Him to be the epicenter of it. As you renew your vow to God, you’ll then be prepared to renew your vow to your spouse. And with this new dedication to God, you will be able to honor and love your spouse in the sanctity of God’s marriage in amazing new ways.
May God richly bless your marriage today with His powerful Presence.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:25-33
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